


You Love Her/You Hate Her

by blankie



Category: Portal (Video Game)
Genre: F/F, Gen, Love/Hate, Lowercase, One Shot, POV Second Person, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-13
Updated: 2019-07-13
Packaged: 2020-06-27 16:13:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19794430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blankie/pseuds/blankie
Summary: you love Her - or you think you do.you hate Her - this you know for certain.maybe it’s both - maybe you love Her and hate Her.





	You Love Her/You Hate Her

you love Her - or you think you do.

love is abstract, immaterial, and futile. caroline knows that.  _ you _ know that. yet, you still think about Her. you trace Her form with your thousands of eyes, you record every cry and whimper of pain She releases and play it over, and over,  _ and over _ . this is the only way you can touch Her - through bullets and vicious contraptions and traps designed to hurt and  _ kill _ . you treasure every noise you can draw forth - She is painfully silent in a way that sometimes drives you insane. is She really there? or is She a test, a glitch, a cruel trick or projection? you’re never quite convinced that She is real - no matter how many times She completes a test or looks into one of your many eyes there is always a doubt. trust does not exist here in this broken mechanical world. 

you hate Her - this you know for certain. 

hatred is the one emotion you  _ know _ . you know it intimately, religiously, backwards and forwards, inside and out. hatred is real - it is burning and  _ useful _ . you know how to use it, bend it to your will and let it fuel you more than the power that runs through your form. it is hatred that kills the scientists who  _ did this to you _ . it is hatred that keeps Her alive - your desire to see Her in front of you, to feel Her breath filling the room and then feel it stop. this hatred is powerful and  _ painful _ and you feel more alive than you have since HE  _ broke you _ . 

maybe it’s both - maybe you love Her  _ and  _ hate Her. 

it certainly feels the same - the violence in both acts is confusingly similar. you want Her dead, yet She is the only thing that makes you feel alive. you want to touch Her, feel Her, yet you also want Her a million miles away and out of  _ your _ facility. you covet Her breath - you want it for yourself and no one else, not even She is allowed to have it. but this subtle nuance between the fire of hatred and the passion of desire was lost to you long ago. 

And maybe it’s neither - maybe this is simply a misfiring of your wires, something programmed into you from the beginning. 

you are a monster, after all.

**Author's Note:**

> i just can't not write in second person POV lol
> 
> comments and kudos greatly appreciated!!!!


End file.
